Author’s note: Written by Elmo Lawrence. I tried to put the perspective as first-person and the tense as present, to provide the maximum experience of this story. It’s about the life journey of a young man who lost his parents in a car accident, who tried to start a whole new life as an adventure and a mean to seek the truth and the meaning of his existence.
Make sure that you’ve seen the Table of Contents.
Chapter I: A Journey Begins
‘Every baby born has a fate marked on his birthright. You were born to be somebody. I believe that. And why you were born in this era, I believe that you are the one who will make great changes in the world’s system. The world is broken, corrupt, and untrue. The longer you live in this world, the more you hate it. I used to have given up making changes and live the world as it is, but as I see you live, grow, develop, act, interact, and react to everything around you, I know that you, my son, will be the one who make a change in that, and succeeds.’
The words of my father remain fresh in my mind, even at his funeral. Eyes wide open but empty, I’m facing what’s left of someone who used to be a great influence of me. My father looks so peaceful in his coffin, lying in his best suit with his arms rest on his chest. Beside his is the coffin of my mother, the one who endlessly and selflessly cared for me. She looks so beautiful and so assured in her last dress, and I almost believe that I see her smiling even in her death. They must be very proud of me, I think. Even to their death, they have been very proud to have a son like me.
I clench my fists very tightly, grit my teeth and silently draw a drop of tear. I always loved and respected my parents. I always tried my best to make them happy and proud of me like they always did. I always wanted them to see what they’ve earned in raising me so well in their ways. I have a list of things I wish I could show them as soon as I achieved them, to return their favor. I never expected to lose them this quickly, I never did. But now, it all happens.
It happened so fast I would’ve thought it was just a dream. At the night of the accident, my parents were going to the theater together to watch some old friend perform. They wouldn’t be away for too long, they told me when they left. There’s no premonitions of the thing that’s about to happen as they left, but before leaving my father told me to take care of the house, and take care of myself—I never knew that it was going to be the last thing he told me.
That unfortunate night I was unable to sleep. There’s something in me that kept me awake, that I was worried of my parents by being away too long from what they promised. I was never a dependent son, that I really upset when my parent’s not around to take care of things for me, but something told me that something was wrong when they didn’t return as they’d promised that made me worried. When I was finally able to sleep, it was soon before long that I was awakened by an emergency call from a nearby hospital, telling me that my parents had an accident and died on the spot.
They told me that there’s nothing wrong with my parents to make that accident happen, but a drunken truck driver failed to notice the traffic light and went in full speed against my parents’ car. He was soon arrested and is waiting for his trial behind the bars right now. But what I couldn’t get was, why were my parents taken from me if they did nothing wrong? Why should they die, not the drunken truck driver? Where’s the justice when it comes to fate and destiny?
Now, at their funeral, I’m finally able to contain my objection. I remember what my father told me, that everything’s always happen for a reason. Like, if I’ve tried hard to achieve something but failed, it’s just that the achievement isn’t meant for me. I probably couldn’t understand it, but perhaps, in the future, the impacts of me achieving that will be bad for me as well as for everything around me. There’ll always be a reason, a blessing in disguise behind ever misfortune of which in time I’ll understand. I believe in every word my father told me, and I believe in that, and that helps me to understand the hidden meanings of this very early loss. So far, I think I can cope with it, but I don’t know how long I’m able to contain my sorrow.
I watch them as the burial takes part, trying to pay my last respect. One by one the funeral attendees leave, and as the funeral is over, only I and the priest remain. Father Alan Wright is a kind old man of his sixties, looking at me with a sincere expression of deepest pity.
‘Son,’ he says kindly, packing his suitcase while still looking at me, ‘I’m sorry that you lost both of your parents while you’re still very young. Did your parents appoint a guardian in case something happened to them? Some close relatives, perhaps?’
I smile frankly, shaking my head politely. ‘No, Father, I have nobody else but myself right now.’
His expression is saddening. ‘A pity that you’re too old to live in an orphanage,’ he says. ‘I know that you’re a good boy—I might be able to help you find foster parents. You’re too young to live without the protection of your parents.’
I hesitate a little, but finally I smile, saying, ‘Thank you for your kindness, Father, but my father told me that everything’s always happen for a reason, and I believe that there’s a reason beyond their unfortunate death. Perhaps that’s just so that I will be able to be self-dependent, even without them.’
He drew his breath. ‘But, son, you still have a future, and by securing your life, I can help you securing your future,’ he explained. ‘You still have to further your study. How exactly will you fare with it without parents at your back to support you?’
‘My family left me a considerable sum of money,’ I tell him. ‘It’s more than enough to help me continue my study. But I don’t want to be a boy anymore—I want to be a mature man, who can take care of his problems on his own. The death of my parents makes me think that I should be mature enough to do everything on my own. And I’m still searching for my identity, my own character. I have to find the reason beyond my existence in this world. Who I am, and what I am to be; as my father always encouraged me to do. I also wanted to find the truth in everything, the truth of which that reason I seek is about. With all due respect to my deceased parents and to you as well, kind sir, their early death gives me the freedom to find that. Now that I have nobody else but me in the world, it’s time for me to find the answers I seek. There’ll be no point in staying here anymore, Father. I’ll be venturing the world seeking for the answers of my question. That’s what I call study for me.’
Judging from the look in his eyes, I expect a thousand words to come from the priest to criticize my arguments—but they never come. The priest seems to be holding back his words as he draws his breath, looking at the ground as he starts talking.
‘There’s nothing I can tell you about that, Son,’ he says. ‘You’re right, the answer’s out there for you to find.’ Suddenly his face brightened, and his expression lightened. ‘Just keep in mind that whenever you need me, I’ll be right here to help you.’
I smile at him. If there’s truly someone who’s the closest to be my guardian, right now, it’s Father Alan Wright.
‘Alright Father,’ I tell him as I walk away from my parents’ graves, out of the cemetery, ‘I’ll be leaving soon. I won’t be staying here any longer, but when I’m about to go, I’ll make sure that I’ll come to you first.’
‘May God have mercy on you, Son,’ he said, smiling.
Deep in my heart I really thank Father Wright for not keeping me from going. I’m sure that he has many objections to my quest, but he understands my reason to go, and I respect that.
I smile weakly at him as I look back to my parents’ new graves for the last time. Mom, Dad, I think to myself, I’m going to go seek the truth and find what I’m meant to be—and I promise that, once I’ve found it, I’ll make you proud.
The sky is overcast, and white-grayish lines of penetrating light that softly shine the outline of the trees seems to reflect my thoughts right now. My future is like the sky, it’s still there, but sorrow and doubt make it seem so gloom and blurry. But there are lines of light that shine through the clouds, and it represents my hope and my will of a whole new life—a life full of adventure.
A feeling of unutterable excitement emerges from the inside. Despite my sorrow and doubt, I never feel such freedom before, as what I feel now.
